When did I notice that Steve’s actions were narcissistic. Was it when I found texts and pictures on his phone from another girl, which he then claimed I shouldn’t have looked. Was it when I found the viagara tablets in the jacket that he wore to work or was it when he told me he was at work and turned out that he wasn’t. All of these things but yet all my fault.

There was the time he went out to work on my birthday and left me at home on my own all day, at this point I only had one loyal friend left. The friend that I had been friends with for years, she was the only one he didn’t push me away from.

I had no other friends, I didn’t get invited anywhere because I always said no. I had to ask permission, he always said yes but the grief getting home wasn’t worth it.

Was it the time that he locked me out of the house at night, in the freezing cold because I dare question him. Those endless hours wandering around Sainsbury’s, doing the Christmas shopping and pretending I’d just gone out late at night. He decided to take my front door key and leave the key in the other side of the back door. But it was ok, because he felt bad.

I dared talk back that time. Until I had to beg him to forgive me. He had taken everything, my friends and family, where was I going to go if I didn’t stay? A fact that Steve promptly reminded me of.